ALONE

Have you ever felt alone
Like the silence in the night
There was only one alone
Who would listen with loving care.

Have you ever felt alone
Did you ever wish for a true friend
Why aren't your brothers ever alone
While you always are

I know there's hope for me
Somewhere in this dark and cruel world
There's got to be hope for me
Somewhere in this dark old world

I wish I had a home with parents to hold me tight
Every step I take seems out of place
Everything I do never seems right
But yet I've got to, just got to win this race.

When I think of all the joy and fun
I can't end life with a knife
I'll never be anything if I run from life
So for now I'll try to just have fun

I've got this emptiness deep inside of me
I've tried but it just won't let go
This emptiness will not always be
I can't let it stay I've got to fight it.

I've never wanted to be alone
It just seems to be that way
Someday I'll have a family of my own
And then I'll never be alone again

No I'll never be alone again.

I wrote this poem at the age of 14 years old. I wrote it one day while sitting in a religious education class in the ninth grade. It didn't matter whether I was in a crowd or sitting home alone I always felt alone. It's sad that at this early age I saw suicide as a way out. Yetsomehow I still had hope that one day I would have a family of my own and the loneliness would end, ironic that decades later I am still Alone. My dream is that someday I might find myself able to marry whomever I please, whomever it is that steals my heart and becomes the love of my life. This is were being gay and a member of the Church comes into conflict.